I just had a conversation with a friend of mine from the United States of America, and she told me that where she is from (and in many other places around the US) people are taught abstinence only sex-ed – that is in addition to “you will get horrible diseases and die” sex-ed. Another thing she told me was that the abstinence only teachings were especially aimed at the girls, with teachers saying things like “Just imagine how special your husband will feel! You do want him to feel special, don’t you?”. Needless to say, I nearly lost it. There are so many things wrong with this picture, I don’t even know where to begin.
Abstinence is the ultimate form of birth control in theory, but..
..what about virgin births? OK, so that wasn’t the “but”. The biggest flaw with abstinence is that, unless you’re asexual, it completely goes against your most basic instincts. When you’re hungry, you eat. When you’re thirsty, you drink. When you’re horny, you fuck. Why shouldn’t you? There is nothing wrong with having sex. And apparently, abstinence only education has no long-term beneficial effects according to this study, and this, to name a few. Also, contrary to abstinence only supporters claims that it is to blame for the overall decline in pregnancies in the US, this study by Santelli, Lindberg, Finer, and Singh (2007) clearly shows that (shockingly) it is due to increased use of contraceptives. This tells us if we really want to reduce the number of applicants to “16 and pregnant”, we – prepare for this controversial and crazy idea – need to educate youngsters in the usage of contraception, because they will – again, get ready for this – have sex anyway.
|I’m not saying abstinence doesn’t work for anyone.|
Shaming women into “virginity” is wrong on so many levels.
Let us, for the purpose of this blog post, define a virgin as someone who hasn’t had any form penetrative anal or vaginal sex with a penis or the homosexual equivalent. There is nothing wrong with not having done this, regardless of what age you are. It is wrong, however, to teach young girls that their worth as women is based on how their virginity level, by inventing a false concept of purity to which they shall forever be held, in order to shame them into obedience. Women are sexual creatures just like men, and we have every right to sleep with as many men (and/or women) as we want, or not sleep with anyone at all. “What about men?”, you might be thinking, “They get shamed into virginity as well!”. You are partially correct. This “conditioning” is aimed so much more at women than at men, and you only need to look at the concept of “slut shaming” (where a woman is antagonized by others for her sexuality) to see this is true, as it very much exists within the “pro sex” culture as well. Young men are generally addressed much more with an attitude of “boys will be boys”. It is almost funny to note the discrepancy between how men and women are educated about the nature of their sexuality, because if women are supposed to save themselves, but “boys will be boys”, we are telling young men 2 things:
1. Go out and rape women.
2. Fuck each other.
We are basically telling young men to become rapists or/and indulge in homosexual activities. The latter there’s nothing wrong with. Experimenting with your sexuality can be very enriching. The former, however, presents a major problem.
Faulty sex education has consequences beyond teen pregnancy.
We currently live in such a rape enabling society, even in places where so-called “proper” sex education takes place, and by not having conversations about healthy sexuality with young teens we are effectively adding to the problem. By teaching youngsters that when it comes to sex, women are objects rather than subjects, and when it comes to sexuality, men are just victims of their own lust, we are building a society where rape becomes excusable. There’s also the added issue of sexually transmitted diseases, that are transferable through many other means that good old penis-in-vagina sex. But who’s to blame?
Sex education shouldn’t be left to schools.
If you’re a parent, YOU are to blame! Why are you counting on the schools to do this for you? Sure, basic sex education like “how do humans get pregnant?” is part of biology class, but it’s your job to make sure your children grow up with a healthy body image, a healthy attitude towards sex, with enough strength to respect their own boundaries, and enough decency to respect the boundaries of others! Stop leaving it all up to teachers, because not only are they probably going to fuck up, but it shouldn’t be their job in the first place. Can we bring parenting out of the schools and back into the house again, please?
If you enjoyed this post, please like, share it (not in a sexual way, or you’ll get herpes and die), tweet it and all that good stuff! Maybe I should start doing educational videos on YouTube.